Ever feel like you're just a hunk of metal?  Like you're a reject?  That you could do better but you messed up again?  Well, I've kind of been there this week.  By coincidence (?), a couple of my friends expressed the same sentiment to me this week.  Coincidence?  Or is God talking to me.  Is He telling me that everybody has times when they feel inadequate.  Times that they feel like they've messed up.  Times they feel like just a hunk of metal.  Oh, what a compassionate God we serve!  God didn't let me linger over just being a hunk of metal long.......he reminded me of one of the greatest men in the Bible, David.  David was a murder, an adulterer, a liar......he really messed up.  I wonder if he felt like just a hunk of metal at times.  But my oh my....... how David loved God.  He loved Him with every part of his being.  David confessed, repented, received forgiveness and then walked in obedience and did great things for the Lord.  And I, like David, love God with every part of my being.  And that same God that I love with every part of my being told me, that when I mess up, all I have to do is confess, repent, receive His forgiveness, walk in obedience and He'll do great things through me for His glory.  And, again, what a compassionate God we serve!  God didn't stop there with me.  He caused a dear friend in my life to send me Malachi 3:3 tonight which made me absolutely weep over God's love for me.  Through Malachi 3:3, God told me tonight, "I am refining you, Sherry, so that you will be like gold and silver and not just a hunk of metal."  To God Be The Glory!!!!!!!

It happened so fast and so unexpectedly......I had been in the field 14 days and had not had access to my email.  I knew it was building up and needed my attention.  Finally, at midnight, I was able to sneak away from my hotel room and 3 sleeping Indian teens I had taken to Phoenix for a graduation celebration.  "Yes", I said to myself as I saw that the guest computer in the office was not in use.  I eagerly sat down and began to read through my list of 128 emails.  I had only read 2 when a young man approached and sat on the chair beside me.  I tried to ignore him and continued to read my emails but he began to talk to me.  When ignoring him didn't work, I tried talking to him out of the side of my mouth with an occasional glance away from my computer over to him and then back to my emails.  Then he really began to get persistent in talking with me and I realized that the tone of the conversation had swung from small talk to "serious" talk.  At that point God told me, "Pay attention to him, Sherry.  People is what life is about, not emails."  So, reluctantly (forgive me, God) I turned to him and began to focus on what he was saying.  And am I ever glad I did!  Thank you God for getting my attention.  As the young man (he told me he was 1/2 Navajo and 1/2 Mexican) began to pour out his story to me, I realized that I really could relate to him and what he had been through.  You see, I have a dear friend in my life that has pretty much been down the same road that this young man had been down.  I have listened to my dear friend many a time and God has shown me how to minister to him.  Now I realized that God was using that dear friend to enable me to minister to this young man sitting beside me.  And oh, was this young man hurting.  He so needed someone to sit and listen to his story and give him a touch of Jesus.  As he poured out his heartache, I poured Jesus into him.  He was so hungry for a touch of Jesus, he was like a sponge.  He listened intently as I talked and absolutely soaked up what I said.  God just flowed the love out of me to him and I absolutely felt like his mother.  When we finished talking he reached out to shake my hand.  As I shook his hand and said "God Bless You!", he took his other arm and circled it around me in a huge hug.  Then he said, "Thank You so much!"  It happened so fast and so unexpectedly......a Divine Appointment that I would have missed had I not listened to the prompting of the Holy Spirit. 

This 100% surrendering to Christ is so amazing to me.  I certainly was not looking for a Divine Appointment at Midnight in a hotel lobby in Phoenix, but since God had the Divine Appointment all arranged, all I had to do was show up, listen to Him and obey.  I am so thankful that God has shown me what a joy filled life I can live through surrendering 100% to Him on a daily basis.  When I walked away from that conversation, my joy overflowed.  I think I could have walked across the pool back to my hotel room.  Thank you, God, for blessing me beyond measure.  (By the way, I didn't finish reading my emails that night.  They can wait, I said to myself.  Nothing in an email could compare to what I just experienced.)  "For we are  God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."  Epesians 2:10

"Are you flying American any time soon?" my pastor asked me on Friday.  "Yes, Tuesday," I replied.  "I am scheduled to fly to Albuquerque to begin training with my boss for my new position with AIM as Ministry Coordinator of American Indian Discipleship."  Then my pastor proceeded to tell me what the latest news was concerning American Airlines, which wasn't good.  In the past, that news would have bothered me.  Satan would have run rampant with it through my brain.  But God has really been working on refining me lately.  He is teaching me to trust Him 100%.  He has shown Himself to me as faithful in these past months over and over and over again.  I am learning to lay "it all down" at the feet of Jesus.  And I'm not just talking about "laying it all down," I'm really doing it!  When I walked away from that conversation about American Airlines I felt such a sense of peace.  I knew in my heart that if God wanted me in Albuquerque on Tuesday that He would get me there.  Now, in my mind, it had become an adventure.  How are you going to do it, God?  I can't wait to see your power poured out in my life.  Will I have another "BIG GOD STORY" to share with the people that You put in my life? 

In the past eight months since I have begun this adventure of going on staff with Adventures In Missions, I have experienced a "BIG GOD STORY" time after time after time after time.  The "impossible" has become possible, the "unknown" has become known, the "impossibly unsaved" has become possibly saved, the "it won't happen" has happened.  God has used me in ways that I never would have dreamed possible.  He is humbling me, growing me, stretching me, teaching me, refiining me; showing me that "His divine power has given me everything I need for life and godliness through my knowledge of Him, who called me by His own glory and goodness."  II Peter 1:3  I am a different person than I was eight months ago and oh, so thankful!  Praise be to the Father of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!  To God Be The Glory!

God has made huge changes in my life in the last 5 years.  I, at times, have had a hard time keeping up with Him, and have tended to ask alot of questions when something would happen or He would tell me to do something.   And in the last year, God has begun to deal with me along those lines.  He has put a dear friend in my life who has challenged me on my questioning God.  When my friend  first told me that I question God too much, I was a little offended.  I didn't think that I did.  But my friend wouldn't let up on me and kept telling me, "Don't be like Moses, Sherry.  He kept questioning God and missed out on the blessing."  Well, when my friend put it that way, I began to pay more attention when God told me to do something.  I certainly did not want to miss out on any blessing that God wanted to bestow on me.  So now, when anything happens in my life or God tells me to do something, the words, "Don't be like Moses, Sherry" resound in my ears.

Two things happened in my life this last month that I normally would have said to God, "Why, God, I don't understand."  But because of my dear friend, I can now say, "Don't be like Moses, Sherry.  I know there is a reason for this.  All things work together for good to those who love Christ.  And since I love Christ will all my heart, I know it is working for my good even though I can't see it." 

The two events happened back to back, within 2 days of each other and they both were very difficult.  The first event was the death of my son's dog, Shyloh.  Jared and Shyloh basically grew up together as Shyloh came into Jared's life when Jared was 8 years old.  Shyloh was an amazing dog.  We raised him from 5 weeks old until he was 1 year to be a Leader Dog for the Blind.  At 1 year we had to return him to the Leader Dog school to be trained and then assigned to a blind person.  It was so hard to give him up but we knew it was for a greater purpose.   After 5 months of training we received a phone call saying that it was discovered that Shyloh had arthritis and could not be assigned to a blind person.  Would we like to have Shyloh to keep?  Would we?  You bet!  The very next day we drove 4 hours to the Leader Dog School to pick Shyloh up.  He was going to be Jared's dog.  When we arrived at the school we wondered if Shyloh would remember us.  What a crazy question?  When Shyloh was brought out to the waiting room to go home with us, he immediately raised up on his hind legs, put both paws on my shoulders and began to kiss my face all over!  Yes, he definitely remembered us!  What a wonderful memory!  When we took Shy out to the car to begin the drive back home we opened the trunk to put in his dog bowl and Shy immediately jumped into the trunk.  He was ready to go home no matter where he had to ride!  What a wonderful memory!  We got him out of the trunk and opened the back seat door for him and Jared to climb in.  Shy climbed in on the floor (all Leader Dogs are trained to ride on the floor of the car and are not allowed on the seat).  Well, we decided Shy was now our dog and could ride home on the seat so Jared coaxed him up on the seat.  As Jared rode home with Shy riding across his lap with a big smile on his face, Shy would not look at any of us in the car.  We would talk to him but he refused to look at us, he was feeling quite guilty about riding on the seat and probably figured if he looked at us we'd make him get back on the floor.  What a memory!  I still don't know why Shyloh died, but I do know that I don't want to be like Moses, so I'm not questioning God, just trusting that "All things work together for my good." And rejoicing that God has given me so many memories of Shyloh, a truly awesome dog that was a gift from God.

The second thing that happened was an event that God had used me to arrange, and I was so anticipating being a part of it.  But, my participation was not to be.  The event will still happen, but God closed the door on my participation in it.  The first thought into my head (from Satan, of course) was Why, God?  but at the same time I knew deep in my heart that there was a reason.   I didn't know what the reason was, but I knew God was in control and I could trust Him.  This past week I found out what the reason was and I so rejoiced in God's wisdom.  He saw the entire picture and I only saw a portion of it.  God is amazingly good to me, I give Him the glory!

Sometimes God shows us the "Why" and sometimes He doesn't.  But God is truly teaching me to trust Him explicitly and to "not be like Moses".